Dear Future Child, July 23,2015
I know I do not know you yet, but I do know one thing for sure: I love you. I do not know when you will come into my life or who your father will be, but I do know that I will be your mother. I can not promise you by any means that I will be perfect, but I do promise that I will try my best to give you a happy life. I can not promise you that I’ll give you the life you deserve, because sweetheart Earth is not a place for any child and only Heaven can do that. But Heaven is not where I want you to be until God calls you home. I want you with me always. Even now I carry you in my heart. I will make mistakes and will accidentally do things that I should not do because just like you baby, I have to learn from my mistakes. Even at my age, I am still learning. I never want you think that it’s not okay to mess up sometimes, because even the best people in the world still mess up. It is a part of being human, but it will never make me love you less. I have been thinking about you and praying for you since I was a child myself. I look at the world and it breaks my heart because it makes me question if bringing you up in such a place is a good thing, but I know you will be a blessing to this world, especially mine. I do not know what you look like yet, but I already know you are the most beautiful sight my eyes will ever see. I do not know what your personality is like, but I know being around you will fill my heart with joy. I do not know if you will be healthy, but I do know that I will do anything for you to be healthy and happy. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will be right by your side. I will never leave you. I could never think of aborting you or putting you up for adoption, because your life is so precious to me. I could never part with such an angel. I will not truly know what love is until I have you in my arms for the first time, to see those beautiful eyes look up at me and to have those precious little hands wrap around my fingers. I would never let anyone harm you in anyway. I will die for you if I need to. You give my life meaning and give me hope in the future. I hope to be the amazing Godly mother you need. I want to be the one you can always come to, and the one who you come crying to when you have your first heart break. I want to cook cookies with you in the middle of the night, and watch old movies with you, and just listen to you talk about whatever you want to talk about. I want to pray with you before you go to bed and help you with whatever you may need. I just want you to be happy. There is so much evil in this world, but there are so many beautiful things too and I want to show you. I want to show you the beauty God has created such as the sunsets God has painted and the sweet cuddly animals that you’ll beg me to let you pet. I want you to see the beauty in life over the bad. I want you to see the beauty in yourself, because darling you are absolutely ravishing inside and out. Whether you are a boy or girl, you are perfect to me already. I could never wish for a better son or daughter, because you’re the best it gets. If there is more than one of you, y’all are all equal to me and I love you so much. Never think that there isn’t enough love for you, because I have all the love in the world for each and every one of you. I am thinking about you daily, and I am trying to do what’s best for you. I am scared to death, but you give me strength that I didn’t believe I had. I could never thank you enough for the happiness you give me. It will be an absolute honor to be your mother. Just know that God loves you and that Him and me are always going to be there. No matter what baby, know that I love you.
Your Future Mommy